Friendships and Socialising
Some autistic people find it hard to make friends.
This is the advice on the NHS website for parents about how to support their child to make friends. Adam, one of the Your Autism crew, has highlighted his favourite advice in green and with a 👍
There are some things you can do to help
- Get ideas from other parents on autism forums and local support groups
- Ask your autism team how to help your child communicate and socialise
- Search the National Autism Society directory for local social groups that are autism-friendly
- Read more advice about making friends from the National Autistic Society
- Ask your child's school if they can help 👍
There are some things that won’t help
- Do not put pressure on your child - learning social skills can take time
- Do not force your child into social situations if they're OK being on their own
Click here to see more information on how to help your autistic child
Adam's thoughts
Asking for help from someone in school can be really helpful. If you don't speak about what you're going through then there's no way you can think about how to prepare for the future. It was easier for me to make friends in school after I talked to teachers and they talked about some of my anxieties with me.
When I feel a lot of pressure, it can feel like I'm shutting down. I just want to go out and make friends with everyone else. If people are patient then I can make friends over time. If I was in a situation that I was uncomfortable with then I think it would be too much for me to feel comfortable, let alone make any friends.
Adam
Your Autism Crew
We also found some advice from other young people from the Ambitious About Autism Ambition Youth Network. Again, Adam has highlighted his favourite advice in green with a 👍, as well as the advice that doesn’t work for him in red with a 👎
- Speak to someone who you know has similar interests to you. Ask them questions about their own hobbies and interests. 👍
- Don't try to be friends wth everyone - only make friends with people that make you feel happy.
- Put yourself out there if you can and remeber that people want friends as much as you do.👎
- Try joining online or in person communities based around something that you really like. The Ambitious Youth Network is a great way to connect with other autistic young people.
- Try to not over analyse social situations and just be yourself! 👍
- Ask for support from your parents. They can help you to interact with people you want to be friends with.
- Be open about your interests and passions. Everyone likes different things, but people always like to find out new things, especially if you know a lot about them and get excited! 👍
Click here to see the Ambitious about Autism website
Adam's thoughts
I've made my best friends now by talking to them about the things I'm interested in. When I first talked to my friends we chatted about Star Wars and all of our favourite things about it. It's something we still talk about a lot. I'm not sure what it means by 'putting yourself out there'. It's not easy to introduce yourself to a group of people that you've never met before. They might not like some of the things I'm interested in and they may be a really different person to me who might not want to make that many friends. It's good to be yourself. It'll be really hard to keep talking to people if you feel like you have to change who you are around them. I like talking to my friends about the things that they like, we might find something new! My friends have introduced me to a lot the games we play online together and it's been really fun.
Adam
Your Autism Crew
Myth
People with autism are unsocial and find it hard to communicate with others
Fact
Most autistic people enjoy having friends and relationships with other people. However, they might need some support with socialising and for other people to be understanding that they might get anxious about socialising and communicate differently to others. They also might find the way other people communicate confusing.
Is making friends something you find tricky, what has helped you and do you think any of this advice might help you?
